In the past few days had a lot of fun reassessing all kinds of stuff. And coming up rested. Like a fluffy dog wallows in dry dust, then shakes out all the burrs and brambles of the last few travels, I took time to rummage around, reassess and look at what is actually occurring, not what I thought was occurring.
For a navel gazer like me, this is good. A bit of sweating, poking, prodding and tugging at what looks immovable (and of course isn’t) produced a welcome realization that It’s Not About Me!
Shocking, I know.
And to be honest, the sweating was more mental and emotional that physical. Did some of that too but my idea of exercise is enduring the treadmill for 30 minutes, couple of times a week. Rearranging my office? Much more fun. And revealing.
‘Cause those files were piled to the ceiling, hard to find anything and worse to decipher my notes. Found materials I thought lost (and oh, so needed), dumped trash ‘til the waste basket cried uncle (yours doesn’t?) and at the moment am sitting in an almost orderly office, enjoying the desk I so love surrounded by Clear Floor Space.
Those last few words are writing in glowy, glittery sparkles in my head. I have now have working lists, tidy to-do files and Clear Floor Space!
The struggle is to daily beat back clutter creating habits that sneak in while I am deep in creation thought. One perk of aging (which no one mentions) is the inclination to tidy and keep tidy is much stronger. I call it the Picture Straightening Syndrome. It does make life easier. Would never have thought that while in my 20’s but it is there and sometimes an unconscious action.
Started a new study recently on Prayer and have to say, what I found is pivotal for me. Spiritual battles are not simply psychological phenomena but actual occurrences that reveal past and future structures. Wow, that is a mouth, or brainful concept. I’ve always known and often engage in spiritual conflicts but I’ve been lazy and let all the parts of it get in my way.
What Jesus said and did matters. It impacts my life. Praying with expectation means I have to expect consequences. Not just feelings but verifiable actions and reactions of other people.
Anyone who reads this blog knows the past few months were drama-filled for me. Not the fun kind. And I’ve let that drama hurt me. I’ve let what other people do or expect of me pressure me. Organizations always pressure because the organization, like every living thing, fights to survive. I know that, but I sort of forgot.
Last week, I had a real come-to-Jesus meeting and the result was, Jesus/God/Holy Spirit wants me to fulfill His plan for me. Not anyone else’s plan for me, or for them either.
Knew that too, but again, sort of forgot.
I am who I am, they are who they are and they do what they do, which is none of my business. Keep my eyes on the prize, my fingers in the pies my God tells me to take part in.